Domestic Violence

December 14, 2023

Can Being a High Achiever Lead to Domestic Violence?

When we think on a fundamental level about domestic violence, we sometimes think in stereotypical terms based on our ideas of who/what an abuser is. Maybe we imagine an abuser as someone who has no job or no ambition; maybe in our minds, they’ve got mental health issues or are addicted to drugs and alcohol.

But these things don’t describe you. By all accounts, you’re considered a success. You’re a noted overachiever. So, how is it that you’re under arrest for domestic violence? Why have you been served with a protective order? How could this happen? In your mind, you don’t fit the “profile” of an abuser.

And that’s where you’d be wrong. Domestic violence, an issue that plagues societies worldwide, has no singular face or definitive profile. It’s a complex and multifaceted problem affecting individuals from all walks of life, including those we often deem successful and accomplished. In fact, for high achievers, the pressure to maintain that success can even be a driving factor of violence.

November 24, 2023

Power and Control: The Underlying Motivation for Domestic Violence

by Michael Kraut

It’s a reality of life that couples sometimes disagree–sometimes even loudly. Sometimes, an argument can get out of hand, leading one to accuse the other of domestic violence. If you’ve recently been arrested over such an argument, and it’s your first offense, you might be able to explain it as a disagreement that went too far. But if this is not your first time being accused of domestic violence, but perhaps even the third or fourth, that suggests a pattern of abuse. As uncomfortable as it might be, it’s probably time to look at the underlying causes behind these behavior patterns. In many cases, if not most, it comes down to a need to exert power and control over your partner.

Power dynamics in abusive relationships can often be subtle and sometimes quite overt–but so prevalent is the dynamic of control in abusive relationships that California has even passed a “coercive control” law, which enables victims to seek a protective order simply by providing evidence of a “pattern of behavior that unreasonably interferes with a person’s free will and personal liberty.” The bottom line is that if you are a repeat offender, there’s a high probability that you have control issues regarding your partner. So, let’s delve into this idea and see what we can learn.

Understanding Power and Control in Relationships

September 21, 2023

The Unseen Impact: How Witnessing Domestic Violence Shapes a Child’s Future

by Michael Kraut

When thinking about domestic violence, especially from the standpoint of criminal charges, we typically think of it in terms of the perpetrator (the defendant) and the victim (the accuser). But domestic violence spares no one in the families where it happens, and there are other victims to consider. As many as 90 percent of domestic violence incidents are witnessed by the children in the home, and these children are also victims of the violence, even if they are not direct victims of child abuse.

Overall, the research is clear: Children caught in the storm of domestic violence typically carry the scars into adulthood, and the impacts frequently manifest in psychological and behavioral ways. The fact is, the children can’t help but be affected. The question is, how much does domestic abuse affect children? Does witnessing spousal abuse predetermine a child’s fate? Will they inevitably become either abusers or the abused in their adult relationships? Let’s look at this issue to see what we can learn.

The Psychological Impact of Witnessing Spousal Abuse

August 11, 2023

Accusing Each Other of Domestic Violence: How Mutual Abuse Works in California

by Michael Kraut

People tend to think of domestic violence in simplistic, one-way terms. There is an abuser, and there is a victim–and that is the case in many situations. But in reality, many abusive relationships are mutually abusive–that is, both parties are physically violent with each other. Multiple studies have revealed that up to 60 percent of relationships in which domestic violence occurs are mutually abusive. When both parties allege abuse, from a legal standpoint, the situation gets very complicated very quickly—especially during the arrest and investigation process.

So the question is, how does California deal with such cases? What happens when you and your partner accuse each other of domestic violence? Let’s explore the concept of mutual abuse in California, how it impacts the legal process, and what one can expect when faced with such accusations.

Understanding Mutual Abuse

July 16, 2023

Common Patterns and Phases in Abusive Relationships

by Michael Kraut

Being arrested on domestic violence charges can be confusing, humiliating, and disconcerting, especially if it’s the first time it’s happened to you. But facing domestic violence charges a second or third time can be utterly demoralizing. The first time it happened, you were unsure of how you got here (perhaps you told yourself things just “got out of hand”), but you swore you wouldn’t find yourself in this place again.

By the second or third arrest, it’s not as easy to discount the issue as a misunderstanding. One time could be written off as an anomaly, but multiple arrests indicate a pattern. Aside from needing experienced legal help to address the charges, the best way to keep this from recurring is to identify the patterns at work and look for ways to disrupt them.

Recognizing Different Types of Abuse

May 16, 2023

Using Technology to Avoid a Repeat Domestic Violence Arrest

by Michael Kraut

If you’ve recently been arrested for and/or charged with domestic battery, stalking, or other forms of domestic violence, you already know what a disruption it can be to your life and your family. Of course, your first course of action is to navigate this process with the help of an experienced attorney–but when the initial crisis is over, your next most important step is to find ways to avoid a repeat incident.

Fortunately, as with so many other problems in our lives, the digital age now offers solutions that we didn’t have even a few years ago. Let’s explore some technological innovations you can leverage to help you address the issues that may have caused this incident, move past this crisis, and, most of all, avoid future incidents.

Helpful Mobile Apps

April 25, 2023

When Teens Are Accused of Domestic Violence: How to Avoid Long-Term Repercussions

by Michael Kraut

Domestic violence is an issue that affects people of all ages and backgrounds. Unfortunately, teens are not immune to this problem; statistics show that about 10 percent of adolescents have been victims of dating violence. It might not necessarily be a sign of an emerging violent pattern in your child; teens tend to be impulsive and not always in control of their emotions. But unfortunately, when those impulses run up against the law–particularly domestic violence laws–the negative repercussions can last for many years. California law is strict regarding domestic violence, and while California’s juvenile process operates differently than the criminal justice system for adults, a single moment of bad judgment can still follow a teen into adulthood, making life complicated and ruining potential opportunities.

While it’s impossible to control our teen’s behaviors and choices completely, understanding how the law works can help you and your teen navigate a difficult situation and hopefully minimize the damage. If your teen has been accused of domestic violence—or if you are a teenager who has been accused—the following information may be able to help.

Domestic Violence and the Juvenile Justice System

March 19, 2023

How a Domestic Violence Accusation or Conviction Impacts Your Job Prospects

by Michael Kraut

Being accused or convicted of domestic violence can have serious consequences, not only on your personal life but also your professional life. A domestic violence conviction can make it difficult to find and secure a job for anyone looking for employment in California. Even if you’re sentenced to probation in lieu of jail time, not only will employers often not hire someone with a criminal history, but in some cases, an employer has the right to fire you over a domestic violence conviction, especially if it reflects on the nature of the type of job you hold.

The good news is that being accused of domestic violence does not automatically make you unemployable. You have some rights and options, although you may have to jump through a few more hoops to become gainfully employed. Let’s take a closer look at how domestic violence can impact your job prospects in California and what you can do about it.

An Overview of How Domestic Violence Impacts Employment

February 20, 2023

Accused of Domestic Violence During a Complex Divorce: What You Need to Know

by Michael Kraut

It can feel like being thrown out of the frying pan into the fire. You’re suffering through a particularly messy and contentious divorce, when one day, there’s a knock on your door, and the police are holding a warrant for your arrest on allegations of domestic violence or child abuse. Suddenly, a complex situation has become even more complicated because while you’re fighting for your rights on the custody and property fronts on one side, you’re now facing possible criminal charges and jail time on the other. Not to mention a domestic violence arrest and/or conviction can have a negative impact on your divorce settlement and even your parental rights. What can you do to protect your rights? How should you respond?

There are no easy answers here, especially considering that the laws in California are particularly designed to protect the victims more than they are the defendants. But let’s discuss some of the ramifications of what can happen if you’re accused of domestic violence in the midst of a divorce process, and the best way to respond in that situation.

Why Domestic Violence Accusations May Arise During a Divorce

January 18, 2023

Dealing with Shame and Regret After Domestic Violence

by Michael Kraut

You never intended for it to happen. You had a disagreement with a member of your family (perhaps a spouse or someone else you love). Emotions escalated, and you lost your temper. Now, you’re facing possible charges of domestic violence. Perhaps you’ve alienated your loved one, and they’re now seeking a protective order against you. The idea fills you with regret—and with shame. What do you do?

Let’s be honest: it is natural to experience feelings of shame and regret after a domestic violence incident—and they can be very difficult to process. But these emotions can also be used as a force for positive change in your life. Let’s explore how to take those negative feelings of shame and regret and use them to create healthier relationships with the people close to you.

Understanding the Gravity of Domestic Violence